I'm Going to Change!~~~

Yup, I'm gonna speak about the truth today.. It's like formspring, I'll be honest today..

Actually, I feel so so so and so bad because of something. What's that something?? Gotto forget someone! Arghhh.. Get to know someone is much easier rather than have to forget everything we've done together. Am I right? I can really feel pain and u know, it's really sucks!

Wanna know more?? I'll update it as soon as possible...~~~

p/s: Soooo long and gud bye!

So sorry, I'm not going to update this part..haha.. No need to tmbh kasi sakit hati lg lol.. ***

First Accident!

I think it's 'okay', if u just got car license (for 2 months) and drive MPV car (big car) then u got involved in an accident which means small accident!! hahaha.. But, it takes few days for me to calm down and getting better from stress..huh. No motivation words instead I was blamed. It's really hurting inside me. Not only the car gets damage, but me too! :(

My mood was not ok and I've tried to motivate my own self. My mind keeps playing the accident scene.. I've tried to stop or pause, but it keeps playing.. It's like U vs. Ur Mind! Huhu.. But today, I'm a little bit calm... Alhamdulillah.. Really hope that this calmness wasn't for a short period of time... 

For those who have car license, please don't ever try to double park ur car!! That's cause of my first accident.. It was a narrow road but became narrower because someone's double parked his/her car. Erm.. Whatever it is, I know more or less I'm also fault for being so careless.. Overconfident that my car can pass, but nope.

So, moral of the story... Please focus on driving and don't be overconfident...

kesan lekuk sket 

closer shot...

p/s: Sorry dad.. 

~~~THE END~~~

Cuti 2010~~~

Cuti kali ni memang tersangat best, dpt jln2 n hang out with them.. Sedikit sebanyak dpt jugak hilangkan kebosanan sebab tak da wat pa2.. Alhamdulillah, thanks to all my friends sbb sgt2 sporting n sempoi! Luv u all!!! Banyak betul aktiviti yg kami join. At first, jln2 dgn bestfren n kwn2 di bandar Tawau. Ketawa2 sambil makan ABC, fuh! hehe.. Terjumpa dgn kwn2 lama lg, mmg gempaQ la tmpt ABC tu dgn ketawa2 kami.. :D

Mula2 6 org yg join, tp tinggal 3 orang jak starring yg mau bertahan pi tgk wayang..hehe.. Bertiga trmasuk aku, tgk wayang Narnia.. Adventure! Best jgk la crta dia tp suasana dlm panggung tu yg tak berapa best.. (sorry la byk merungut, huhu)..

Pas tu, Jungle Trekking pulak di Table. Punya best sbb byk pacat! huhu.. Seorang kwn baru ni, lelaki, asyik diserang pacat! Banyak lagi tu... Tak pandai stop2.. Sedap kali darahnya..haha.. :D

Perjalanan kami selama 2 jam lbey rasanya iaitu 3.2KM. In the early planning, sepatutnya kami sampai ke Air Terjun Bukit Gelas.. Tapi bila sampai di Kolam Air Panas, perjalanan terpaksa dihentikan disebabkan hujan yg telah turun. Mr. Guide kami ckp, perjalanan boleh diteruskan tapi agak berbahaya. Oleh itu, kami sebulat suara berpatah balik dan terpaksa melupakan hasrat utk ke Air Terjun Bukit Gelas. 

Kolam Air Panas with Mr. Guide

Kami pun berpatah balik sambil dibasahi air hujan. Perjalanan yg agak jauh dan memenatkan, jln yg dilalui juga sgt mencabar dan licin. Ada di antara kwn2 yg terjatuh kerana tergelincir, sakit tu! Semasa perjalanan balik, kami terus redahi tanpa mempedulikan pacat dan sebagainya. Boleh dikatakan majoriti daripada semua yg terlibat diserang pacat. Bila ada jeritan, seakan siren menandakan ada mangsa lg yg terkena la..hehehe.. Perempuan je la, lelaki takkan mau menjerit pulak kn! hehehehe.. Akhirnya, kami berjaya sampai ke tapak permulaan trekking. Pengembaraan seterusnya nak ke pokok tertinggi di dunia, ada 488M lg tp kena mendaki bukit lg.. So, aku dan 4 orang kwn2 yg lain tidak sertai perjalanan kwn2 yg lain. Kami berlima pergi bermandi-manda. Best sgt! Airnya sejuk kerana ketika itu hujan turun renyai2. Kepenatan kaki dilupakan seketika apabila masuk ke dalam air sungai yg dingin.. ;)

Pokok Tropika Tertinggi di Dunia

Setelah puas berendam di dalam air, aku dan 3orang kwn ku lg balik awal.. Sebelum balik, kami membersihkan badan. Time tu la baru aku perasan, aku juga diserang pacat! Darah tak henti2 mengalir keluar .. Sudah di lap berkali2 tapi tetap jugak mengalir, so aku biar ja la. Kwn2 lain yg belum balik, mereka balik pukul 5 lbey. Sampai di rumah, aku terus landing... Sakit2 semua bhgn badan... 2 hari lepas tu, mak ku nak cuci kain. Sedang mencuci tu, dia rasa ada benda mengigit. Bila mak aku cek2 rupanya pacat! Alamak, aku tertapau balik 1 ekor pacat! hehehehe.. adeiii, mengganas pulak dia d umah ku ya.. Then, aku tak tau la pa jadi dengan pacat tu sbb hilang, tiada khabar berita..hehe.. Tak da la, tak tau pa pkck ku wat dgn pacat tu smpi hilang..huhu..

Seterusnya, join kwn2 ajak pi main badminton. Aku join! Best dapat main wlupun aku tak da racket..hehe.. Dgn adik2 ku lg buat kecoh kat sana, lari sana sini.. Terkenal aku jd kakak dorg..hehehehe.

Plan pas tu pulak pi main futsal. Aku tak join, tp tolong tgk2 jak. Best jgk dorg main, aku tak pndai la..hehe. Time tu dorang main mlm, bapa ku bg izin aku drive. First time aku jln mlm! Yg lucunya, aku bw keta tu dgn lampu flash!! Keta2 lain smua main mata ngan aku, dan ada yg balas balik dengan lampu flash! haha.. Minta maaf la ya pkck2 or mkck2 yg bw keta mlm tu, yg terserempak ngan aku sbb baru pertama kali ba,hehe.. Len kali tau sudah cam mana mau on lampu normal..haha.. Bila balik da, kwn2 ajak pi minum2 di gerai belakang empire. Lepas hantar keta balik umah, aku ikut ngan kwn pi minum2. Best! Hang out smpai dkt jam 11mlm baru balik. Haha, dat's my first time jgk keluar dgn kwn2 sampai larut malam dgn izin parents.. :D

(mlm tu ada hal terjadi dgn bestfren ku, So Sorry Geng!)

Keesokkan hari, kwn2 planning lg pi main badminton. Mlm tu aku tak bw keta, sbb bapa ku ckp mana tau kami pi minum2 lg. So, aku ikut kwn la. Mlm tu main sangat2 best! Dapat bergandingan dgn bestfren, bergu.. Kami menang! hehehe.. Mlm tu ramai jgk yg join dan jumpa balik kwn2 lama yg dah lama tak jumpa. Pas habis main badminton, kena ajak lg pi minum2. Wow! Btul ckp bapa ku..huhu.. Mlm tu kami lepak2 lg sambil bercerita2 dan tgk kwn buat Magic! Aku pun buat Magic mlm tu..hehehehe.. Magic paling senang..adeii.. :D

Thank u friends! Mmg enjoy sgt2 la... :D

Pemergiannya..

Pada tarikh 13 November 2010, one day after my mum's befday... Parents ku dtg ke KK. Aku ni happy la, sbb dorg dtg skali dgn adik2 ku.. Ceritanya mcm ni, hari tu hari Sabtu. Aku ada exam paper on dat day, before masuk exam aku call mak ku (mc d umah) untuk bertanya keadaan nenek ku kat kg (Tuaran). Sebab sehari sebelum tu makcik menelefon ku utk memberitahu tentang keadaan nenek yg semakin tenat di kg. Mak ku ckp nenek ok sda, juz demam biasa. Aku lega jgk la.. Slps pi exam, aku pi ke KK nak jln2 release tension. But then on 3.30pm mcm tu, bapa ku call aku. Rupanya dorg di airport KK dah dgn mak dn adik2 ku. Bapa ku tanya sama ada aku nak ikut pi kg atau tidak.

As usual, aku mana mau tinggal.. Jadi aku minta ambil nak ikut sekali pi kg. Masa tu, dorg cm nak cepat jak, jadi dorg jln dlu pi kg bawa kreta pkck ku. Jadi pkck ku yg ambil aku di KK nnti, sbb bapa ckp pkck pun pi kg. Sambil tunggu pkck ku sampai, aku berfikir... Napa dorg tiba2 dtg ni? Tapi hati ku lantas menjawab, dorg dtg nk melawat nenek sebab mkck ckp nenek tenat smlm. Then, pkck ku sampai utk menghantar aku ke kg. Dalam kereta, aku berfikir lagi.. Napa pkck mau ikut sekali ke kg? Ada program atau kerja ka? Hati ku lantas menjawab lg, memang dia slalu pi Tuaran atas urusan kerjanya. Lgpn pada masa itu, kwn pkck ku pun ada ikut sekali.

Pkck drive laju sangat, seram plak aku.. Dekat sdah di Tuaran tu, pkck call bapa tnya dia kat mana. Rupanya bapa ku salah jln dan terpaksa patah balik ikut jln lain. So, kami pun terpaksa berpatah balik tunggu bapa ku di simpang Politeknik. Sambil menunggu, pkck dan kwnnya berbual. Mereka saling tertanya2 di mana arah jalan ke tanah perkuburan. Sekali lagi, aku pelik.. Utk apa pergi ke tanah perkuburan? Hati ku menjawab lagi, owh mgkn ada shortcut lain utk pi kg ku. Sbb mmg ada byk jln shortcut utk pi kg ku tu.

Then, bapa ku ikut kami dari belakang.. Dari kreta aku dpt tgk bapa, mak dn adik2 ku.. Kami pun meneruskan perjalanan ke Tuaran, aku ikut jak. Dengan bantuan kwn pkck yg dia call utk tnya jln dan bantuan org kg kat situ, akhirnya kami sampai ke destinasi yg dituju. Bukan, umah nenek di kg...tapi yg aku tgk ialah tanah perkuburan. Aku dapat tgk ramai org kt situ, pkck ku pun mula cari tempat letak kereta. Aku bingung, jadi aku bertanya pada pkck ku.. Napa pi sni pkck? Kwn pkck ku pun ckp dgn pkck ku..owh dia ni tdk tau rupanya..nenek mu tiada suda.. Pkck ku tdk ckp apa, hnya tgk aku mnerusi cermin pndg blkg..

Aku lantas turun smbil air mata ku berguguran jatuh, aku tdk dpt berkata apa2.. Hnya mmpu beristighfar.. Aku tdk tau lgsung... Mkck ku lantas mmeluk ku dan ku lihat semua adik beradik mak termasuk mak turut mngs.. Pada masa tu, aku hnya diam tdk dapat berkata apa2...

"Ya Allah, ampunkanlah segala dosa2 arwah nenek ku.. Rahmatilah rohnya semoga tergolong dalam golongan org2 yg beriman.." Amiin..

Today is my beloved Mum's befday...

12 November has become a special date as it's my mum's befday.. Juz now I've called her to wish Happy Birthday.. She's sounded so happy like she has knew that I'm going to wish her.. Miss her so much and really miss my hometown. "There's no place like home".

Tomorrow will be my third exam paper. After that there will be two more papers. Haha, then I'm going to spend my time here before going back to my hometown. Going to be in my hometown started this late November until July 2011, 7 months...huhu.. But juz now I've seen news from others telling that final sem holiday for next sem will be 4 months in a row (May-Sept.). Is that true? If KPT really did confirmed the news, so 9 months will be spent beside my family..

Which one is better? Buy camera or hp with camera function? Think once or twice I still can't get the best answer. Bcoz the best answer is not my own choice..hehehe.. Do not misunderstand k... I'm asking without any intention to buy, huhu.. Saja2 tnya..

So, for those who's taking exam this 3 weeks.. Good Luck.. May we can do the best as we can!! Don't be so stress plus eat well..

15 Ramadhan dah ke??~~

Ermm..tak disangka2 dah pertengahan Ramadhan da. Alhamdulillah, masih lg dpt mengharungi bulan Ramadhan tahun ni. Dan, banyak benda dan perkara yang terkandung hikmah disebaliknya berlaku sepanjang bulan Ramadhan ni. Kalau ikutkan, skrg member2 dah busy hntr borang tu ini, jmpa lecturer nak urus LI (Latihan Industri) ni. Aku rasa aku jak yg relaks lg, teda print out borang yg nk diisi dan kol tmpat nk praktikal tu.heheheh.. Ntah la, nk ckp malas ndak jgk..(haha, mana da pemalas mngaku dirinya malas)... Smpai kn ada member nk tolong kol tmpat praktikal tu bg pihak aku..hehehe.. Tp aku xnk la suru dorang.. Lastly and finally, ada kwn gak nk praktikal tmpat yg sama dn nk kol tmpt tu..huhu.. Bukan apa, aku tgh bingung dgn tmpat LI ni. Bapa nk aku dkt ngan hometown jgk.. The problem is, at my hometown tu ndak byk tmpt LI. 1 jak ada.. itu pn Jabatan Pertanian, tp ndak byk bole apply byk apa yg aku dah belajar. Kalau tmpat aku study ni plak, byk tmpat bole pi. Hospital private pn ada, dpt apply smua yg aku da blajar. Selain tu, ada Jabatan Kimia dan Veterinar atau kilang2 la.. Smua ok2.. Kwn2 pn yg Sabahan rmai ambil area sni.. The reason why ndak dpt pi Hospital government atau Jabatan Kesihatan, sbb ndak dpt MOU (ntah la apa ni..mcm agreement jgk la) dr Hospital dn Kesihatan utk praktikal kt situ. Without MOU, bhgn Kementerian Pengajian Tinggi pn ndak dpt wat pa2 kalau nk praktikal kt situ. Mmg ndak bole la.. sbr ja... Jd, aku rasa..fikir..tnpa restu family susah jgk kn.. Hometown jgk la jwbnya... Redha.. :)

Ini...llirik lagu yg ditujukan buat org tu.. What do you want from me?? Utk smua gak..hayati..hehe... ;)

Hey, slow it down whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Yeah I'm afraid whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

There might have been a time
And I would give myself away
Oooh once upon a time I didn't give a damn
But now, here we are so whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Just don't give up I'm workin it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Yeah, it's plain to see (plain to see)
That baby you're beautiful
And it's nothing wrong with you
(Nothing wrong with you)
It's me, I'm a freak (yeah)
But thanks for lovin' me
Cause you're doing it perfectly
(It perfectly)

There might have been a time
When I would let you step away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life

Just don't give up I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep comin around
Hey, whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)
Whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)

Just don't give up on me
(Uuuuuuh) I won't let you down
No, I won't let you down

(So I) just don't give up
I'm workin it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up (It messed me up)
Need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me

Just don't give up I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me (whataya want from me)
Whataya want from me (whataya want from me)
Whataya want from me


  

Alhamdulillah.. berkat Ramadhan~~

Alhamdulillah, finally I can get my scholarship.. Thank you Allah for giving me what I really need.. I have to use my money wisely because there's a lot of things need to buy and use. Next sem I will go for my internship maybe in Tawau, huhu.. If I will be accepted in Tawau for my internship, it will be an opportunity for me to live with my family and also close to them.

Oh ya, almost forgot to wish Happy Ramadhan to all of you. Ahlan wa sahlan ya Ramadhan.. marilah kita sama2 memanfaatkan bulan yg mulia ini. Memang banyak benda terbaik yg terjadi dlm bulan ini. Alhamdulillah, inilah bulan yg sangat mulia, penuh berkat dan rahmat. Jom berlumba dan bersama2 mengejar pahala dan menambah amalan kita.. ;)

Kata2 sebagai renungan:
~ Aku..
  seorang hamba yg daif dan lemah..
  yg selalu lalai dan alpa,
  namun Allah tidak pernah melupakan ku walau sesaat,
  sentiasa memerhatikan ku dan mendengar luahan ku di saat aku berduka..
  Adakah di antara kamu yg dapat mencari orang yg mampu memberikan sepenuh perhatian kepada kita?
  Adakah ada di antara kamu yg dapat mencari orang yg sentiasa menolongmu di kala susah dan berduka,
  tidak kira susah dan payah sekaipun dirinya sanggup untuk menolongmu?
  Allah segalanya.. Dia adalah teman yg sentiasa ada di hati kita, yg nama-Nya sentiasa kita
  sebut bila susah dan berduka.. bila senang adakah kita mengingati-Nya?
  Marilah kita bersama2 ingat Allah, tidak kira di mana kita berada dan tidak kira apa jua yg kita lakukan..
  Renung2kan...dan selamat beramal... =)

Sabar ku ada batasnya..~~~

Excuse me.. I want to share something..  everyone has their level of patience... Me too.. I've been patient for several things..

1. Owh my lovely U_ _... kn dah cantik, sgt cantik... tp sstem pngurusan yg SANGAT TERUK!!! geram aku... I've been waiting for my scholarship but till now I get nothing! Please la.. Does it take so long process to give students their scholarship?? We are STUDENTS, we don't have much money to spend and buy foods other than using our scholarship. We have to lean on our parents, every week needs money to buy books and many  more things... I was so thankful that my parents can still support me in finance (money) but how about the others? Who can't be supported by their parents? Either their parents were separated or poor, so how they're going to survive? For our beloved U_ _, please... Think of us... Change ur management.

2. Junior in my room.. There are so rude! Baru ja bbrapa mnggu masuk U dah berlagak, kurang a**r dan sombong! What actually makes me so mad?? I'm the first who entered that room, and booked my locker, table and bed. I've put all my things in my locker, table and bed. And when the two of 'kindly' juniors entered that room, they took over all the things inside the room! She has taken all my things on my bed and on my table, put them into my locker. How rude she was!!! And then she put all her things on my table and my bed. Seriously, I can't tolerate with them. So I asked my other roommate (my batch) to tell them that it was my place (they have to move to another table and bed), but none of them wanted to move. I really2 hate and can't tolerate even a little with them!! I miss my old roommates...

3. I've joined a program.. That program was held to welcome our junior (for my course). I was handling in food unit at that time as a Leader. My Pengarah wants me to do this and that. Not yet finish in one work I have to move on to new work and get busy. One day, I really can't go to our meeting. I was so tired of doing so many works. So I asked one of my ajk to replace me. At that time, they didn't know anything and what to answer if being asked. I've been told them to tell this and that but the Majlis Tertinggi (MT) just like want to blame me so much for not attending the meeting. They asked this and that but none of them were our real tasks for our unit. I was really sad and be patient at that time. And finally when one last meeting was held, I was late. Why I was late? At that time I'm in KK wanted to take KPP class, but when I thought that my ajks didn't know anything and less working so I decided to go to the meeting. My Pengarah was so mad at me and criticized me. He told me that he was really particular with Food Unit and can be said as an expert. I felt insulted and wanted to cry. I just kept holding my tears, and pretend to smile. There's too much time, energy and money that I've been sacrified for this program. They were always held meeting at their Kolej Kediaman. I lived far away from their kolej, but I knew there's no good to give an excused, so I definitely will come. Even there's no transport, I will walking from my kolej to their kolej (it's really far). Only certain of them knew that I'm doing my work seriously. My feet at that time 'melecet' because of too much walking. At one time I really can't hold it anymore and I was crying while calling my mum. She gives me strength and advice to be patient and keep doing the right things. Now, the program has finished... Alhamdulillah... Lega...


That's my story.. How about u??? Keep this in mind.. "As sobaru minal iman...Sabar itu separuh daripada iman..."

Enjoy this song.. :)

  

Hampeh..~~

Tyme program tu ada jgk la yg ok2.. sdap mata memandang..hehehe.. Ada jgk la yg bg respons sket2, ok la sket2..hehehe.. Ndak jgk la brharap kn..

Td aku sms la sorg ni, coz adik2 mnta num fon dia... Nk sms dia mnta izin la... Then aku ckp la aku sapa dn pa ku nak... Dia bole plak p reply aku sapa? yg mana? AJK apa? hahahaha.. Ndak d knal rupanya... Adeiii.. jd aku perasan rupanya.. Aisehh.. Dak pa la..huhu.. Lawak!!

Xpa..xpa.. Smua ada hikmah..hehe.. Lgpn "single is better for now".. Kdg2 bila ja tringat mau mncari psgn hidup trus mcm trauma dn takut sket, mcm tringat2 blk pa yg prnh jd ngan aku dn kwn2 ku... Erm, ssah nk cari psgn skrg ni.... Apa pn, sabar ja.. Ada jgk tu nnti... Ingt ja, klu kita baik psgn kita nnti pn baik jgk... =)

Ntah apa2..huhu~~

Saja mau meluangkan masa mau share2 la knun..hahaha..
Bru2 ni aku baru ja balik dr program di Tawau, erm best la juak coz AJK dan adik2 smua sporting dn peramah.. Yg paling bes aku dpt jmpa family ku,,huhu.. Mnggu lalu dan lalu lg mmg mnggu yg banyak bg pengalaman dan pengajaran la utk aku.

Ada 1 hari ni, mnggu lepas dan lepas lg aku trpaksa turun bndar sndiri. Urgent la time tu mau turun. Aku minta tolong teman ngan bbrp org kwn tp smua pn ada hal dan x dpt pi.. Time tu ptg2 sda, aku cm berat hati jak mau turun tp disebabkan urgent jd aku trpaksa la juak turun. Bila da turun tu, pes2 plan mau pi yg dekat2 dgn U jak tp sebab risau xda knderaan balik (d situ susah dpt bas blk + sndiri lg) jd trus la p bndr. Smpai jak d bndr hujan lebat... Aku trkandas sndiri d stesen bas tu. Aku brdiri mau hmpir 1-2 jam la cm tu sejak gelagatmata2 mau tnggu hujan tu brhenti. Adeiii... Mcm2 org aku tgk.. Start la aku 'scan' org tyme tu.. Ada yg mngurat d kala org tgh brteduh, ada yg mnjual2 d tepi2 tu, ada yg kasi bersih tmpat tu smpi x pduli org yg brada d sbelahnya..mcm2 la ada.. Hahaha.. aku perhati jak gelagat dorg ni. Ada 2org pmpuan la brdiri d sebelah ku ni, dorg brcerita2. Pas tu depan dorg ada 2 org lelaki juak mnengok2 dorg ni. Pas tu dak lama cm tu, 1 lelaki ni maju selangkah ke hdpan..hahahah.. Dan mula la tnya2 itu ini (sket jak TERdgr..huhu).. Pas jak brcerita bgtu, dak lma kuar plak hp.. faham2 la tu, mula sda minta num fon..lalala.. Yg kwn nya 1 ni mnengok2 jak la, dak berani kali...hehehe..pndai2 jak aku. Then ujan pn reda2, aku cepat2 berlari p tnggu bas. Tyme aku mnunggu bas lg tu, aku trnmpak pmpuan dn llaki td tu jln brsama sda.. Kira berjaya la plan lalki tu kn...huhu. Baru ku tau sda cara llaki mngurat.. adeiii... Jd, korg plak cm mana? Mau d urat style or skill cm mana??huhu.. Renung2kan... =)

Diteruskan cerita, aku smpai d tmpat yg aku prlu tuju tu jm 7mlm. Aku kesorangan dn berhati2. D sebabkn risau dn takut, aku menangis dan brjln d kwsn yg ramai org. Aku brjln laju smbil mngs, pduli la org tgk2 ka..hehehe.. Lpas ja urusan ku siap, aku terus ja cepat2 p tnggu bas.. Ahamdulillah sgt2 teda pa2 juak jd ngan aku.. Tmpat tu org ckp klu mlm mmg bhaya... Selesai ja urusan aku snggah mall skejap, cari brg kperluan, mknn utk perut ku yg lapar dn payung sbb hujan lg tyme tu. Tyme beli payung pulak, aku trserempak dgn 1 geng llaki ni la. Student baru U ku (tgk beg dorg pkai).. Dorg ni trdiri drpd 1 bdk Sabah, 2 bdk Sarawak dan 1 bdk Smenanjung. Yg 2 org bdk Sarawak ni mau jgk ckp Sabah... adeiiii hncurnya, bhasa dorg pkai tu bkn lg Sabah ya tp Indon... Aku thn ktawa jak tyme tu, len lg glagat dorg ni x tau mau ttup balik tu payung... Aduhai adik2 ku, tu la trlmpau moden sda payung x tau mau ttup. Ada2 ja dorg ni... Lpas ku beli pyung, aku pulang... Alhamdulillah slmt juak smpi n still alive till now..huhuhu.. =)

Yeay!!

Huhu.. Finally, I get a new wonderful layout.. =)

After making a lot of servay and finding, lastly I get something dat makes me satisfied..hehehe..

Why do I choose this layout design??

1. I love Green... ♥♥♥

2. I love Foods.. ♥♥♥

3. I'm currently studying on Nutrition (about food, healthy food and human nutrition) so I choose a lot of vege and fruity..huhu ♥♥♥

Hope all of u will like it too.. =)

New Sem~~~

New sem.. There's nothing much I wanna talk bout my new sem, it's just sharing bout what had happened yesterday.. 1st week of my new sem. Yesterday, there's not so much probs bout my transport.. well, some of u might know about dat probs. I went to my friend's room before going to our school. We have to wait about 30 minutes for bus to pick us up. While waiting for the bus to come, I like to scan people..haha.. Please don't get it wrong. What I mean is dat I like to see and observe people's attitude and fashion. There are a lot of things you would see and find out if you see and observe them. Too much meaning behind their attitude and fashion. The best way to get know them; attitude and fashion. But, we can't judge people by their book or outlook, right? Pendek kata, easy to say la.. learn before you could talk, k! For me, even u wear smart shirt with nice shoes it doesn't mean dat u are good and kind. Some people with old shirt and walking with old slipper, are actually a good and down-to-earth person. I would love to see people smile at me. Smile sincerely thru ur heart (haha..cewah!).. Bcoz if u smile it can makes people around u feel great and his/her badmood will go away. Dats true! I've gone thru it. Soo, smile... =)

I would smile to anyone I met, besanya pmpuan la..hehe. But if I'm not smiling, itu mknanya not in good mood la..hhuhuu.. And most people who smile back at me, just a simple and ordinary person. And most people who don't reply my smile are those who might thing dat they're good. Come on people... Don't think dat u're wearing like dat, than people would see u and respect u for what u're wearing! NO!!! Be nice la.. jgn jak pakaian da nmpak cm bdk baik tp sombong. Ermm.. But if I'm not smiling at u, I'm really sorry k. Bcoz sometime kwn pnggil dr jauh, x nmpak la pulak sapa (rabun) and x dengar kena pnggil. SORRY.. =)

Haha, before smbung dgn ceta new sem tu, I would like to share something la.. From my friend. He's a boy (yalah, xkn plak he's a girl?? ermm..musykil2..hehe)..

At dat time, we were discussed something.. I'm not really remember what, mcm tentang ssorg la. Then, he said lbey kurang gini la dia ckp.. "Kalau aku la jd alim pn, aku x mau tnjuk sgt.. Aku mau besa2 ja, sbb kalau ko tnjuk yg ko alim.. pkai cm ni cm tuh (kopiah kot mksdnya) nnti org akn judge aku. Org msti akan tgk ko tak bley wat salah.. nnti mula la ko jd bahan bualan.. Dan ckp bukan2, lgpn ni berkaitan agama.. Kalau salah sket, org tgk.. trus agama plak d kaitkn..".

Then, I was thinking dat ada btul jgk pa dia ckp. Apa pun, yg baik kita jadikan teladan dan yg buruk kita jd kn sempadan, k!

Ok..continue. Through out the lecture, I got headache bcoz I didn't wear my spec. And also started to mguap2..huhu. Can u imagine dat the lecture shud finish at 12 but our lecturer take another 30 minutes to finish her lecture. When she said, "Ok, we continue on next week", then it was like bees have been wake up and went out to find honey..haha.. Sooo noisy. Btul la tu, baru bngn tdo and trus kluar cri mknn..hehehe.. Adeii.. =) Then, I went to lab for registering my lab. There are 3 labs for this sem..as usual la. I've chosen 2 days only for my labs. My Wednesday day will be packed from 8am to 5pm.huhuhu.. *8am-10am lecture in DKP *11am-2pm lab in school and one more *2pm-5pm lab in school also..uwaaaa.. 

After dat, my friend and I went to cafe.. I was so hungry and bought Nasi Ayam for my hunger stomach..huahua.. Then, I got a meeting..(weee,huh! ada org yg mengelak dr aku dlm meeting tu dan wat2 x knal aku dn mcm aku x prnh wujud!! Eeee, emonya jgk dia..apa slh ku plak?...pls la! Excuse me!! Yuckkk..). Then, I walked alone at KK.. cari2 cadar dn bntal. For me, RM30++ is expensive for dat kind of bed sheet. Just now, I told my mum about dat expensive (for me la..) bed sheet.. Then my mum said it's expensive also..huhu.. Yeah, dat's a proven dat I'm not stingy for dat kind of thing (yalah tu..haha). Malam plak, I got Nasi Ayam again..huhuhu.. Nk gemok kena la mkn manyak2! lalalla...

Lepas penat2 sangat tu, it's TIDO time.. zzZZZ..

New Design..

I wanna get a new design for my blog.. But I can't copy and paste any code to my template.. Is anyone can help me with this prob?? Please help me...

I've watching several episodes of Parenthood.. I like sooo like dat drama.. Thanks Ikin for giving me that wonderful drama.. For those who's done watching dat movie, I think u're ready to be a parent.huhuhu... But there are some missing episodes.. Hopefully I can get my DVD at home so that I can watch the other missing episodes of Parenthood.. ♥ ♥ ♥

Now I'm planning my budget..huhu.. Maybe for some people it's easy to handle their budget and money. For me, it's NOT. I like to spend my money on FOOD. Actually, it is a good investment bah..hahaha.. But, I'm still thin..huhu.. (Not thin, slim..haha). Yeah, this time.. this new sem I hope I can manage my money and time wisely.. InsyaAllah..hehehe..

Ela, thanks for teaching me how to do this love2 ya..haha.. Nah, take this for u..♥♥♥..

Update..Update..

Hua..hua.. It's time to WAKE UP!!!

After such a long time I didn't update my blog.. Dah banyak habuk da, coz d tnggalkn..hehehe..

Starter? Let me think...ermmm..

Banyak betul perkara yg dah trjadi, time cuti and after cuti.. Sometime all those things make me down, and so down.. Only my parents understand me well bcoz I've told them all things that make me sad and stress.. I feel glad and happy to have them by my side.. <3 <3 <3

From my previous topic, about the one who's lucky to be single.. Now, I'm one of them also..huhu.. Welcome to the club.. lalala..

Else?? 

Sincerely, I really2 don't like U_ _...haha,hihi,huhu..lalala...

Got a lot of prob with it...

An Opportunity~~~

This afternoon after class, I took my time to sleep. And when I woke up, I saw a missed call. I tried to call that number again, but no answer. After a few minutes, that number called me again. The caller, asked me when I'll be back to my hometown? So I said, on 8th of May and come back here (U) on 1st of July. The caller said he wanted to invite me to give a motivation talk in primary school. The session he took for me is on May and in one of the biggest school in a state. He explained anything that I should knew for that event. He also said that all transport and whatsoever related to it will be supported by that programme.

He asked me, either I accept it or not. So, I said Yes, I accept and want. Hehehe.. I want to search for experiences and improve my soft-skill. I like motivation programme. Actually, I have desired on psychology and counselling. Hehe.. but my father didn't allowed me to apply for that courses. I have a dream, wanted to counsel and gave motivation talk in front of people like my favourite motivators.. Datuk Dr. Fadzillah Kamsah, Dr. H.M. Tuah and many more. And..this is the opportunity for me to make my dream become true...InsyaAllah... Wish me luck!!


  

Cucur Bawang..

He..the one who likes me.. He called me just now and wanted to meet me for a few minutes. So I said Ok.

He gave me a transparent container with cucur bawang inside it. I was suprised, why he have to give me that things.. He said that he cooked it by himself. Waa, so I asked him is it free or I need to pay? He said nope.. No need to pay. After that, quickly.. I'm going back to my room. I don't want to meet him, only two of us outside my hostel. It's not good to be looking at. Besides, I want to avoid any "fitnah" from spreading about me.

My roomate said he was so sweet.. as he was so gentle and caring. I said..No..No..No.. Love can't be forced. He's only my friend....

Huh.. I already told him that I can't accepted him. It's better if u told them directly what u want, instead of hiding ur own desire and decision, right? Thus, u don't have to feel guilty because u don't love him and he doesn't put any hopes on u. Couple is not a game... It can be permanently brought till the last day of ur life. Both of u may be married one day. So, think and choose properly.. It's something related with ur own future...


  

Someone express his feelings...OMG!

He was actually just my friend. I really do not recognize him but he keeps contacted me. He's using Digi but still wanted to call me even I'm using Celcom.

The story begin when we're followed a programme. I was in Protocol Unit while he's in Technical Unit. I do not recognize him so there's no need for me to talk with him. But, he's the one who tried to approach me first. At first, I don't really noticed about his strange behavior. I just treat him like my friend.

My friend told me that he actually likes me. I really didn't noticed that until she told me. She also told me that he already likes me since second sem. Can u imagine that, now I'm in fourth sem. He asked for my number from my friend, but he didn't give my number. So he can't contact me. 

During our programme, he always took with him a camera. Everywhere I go, he must be there also and took some pictures with me. But do not get it wrong, I don't have any feelings towards him ok.. One day, we held a meeting with all Units. I sat alone, he came and sat beside me. I felt nothing. At that time, he didn't have my number. He bought a ticket for me, ticket for Pesta Kemerdekaan. I was so suprised as I never told him to do so. I said I don't want to go with him, just two of us. So, he bought another ticket for my friend. He did so that I will go with my friend. Suprisingly, he said he spent me...no need to pay. Wow, how lucky I am..

At that Pesta Kemerdekaan, I'm going with my friends. We're separated..hahaha.. We didn't sat together.

I can't remember other things that he spent. hehehe.. Hope that he really sincere. He always contact me.. Call, not sms. Even I'm using Celcom, and he's Digi but he still wants to contact me. One day, he confessed everything to me. He told me that he likes me. I tried to change our topic. And, I did it. But, he said that he gave time to me to think about it.

Right now, he asking me either I can accept him or not. And...honestly I tell him that I.....can't...

I'm so sorry....

The Day I've Became So Famous~~~

In class, I'm not focusing with what my lecturer said. That subject is only minor, so for me it's not really that important. Besides, the way she teaches really make us tired of listening. She proudly said about Chinese, then how about us as a Malay and Indian. I'm chatting with my friend. I'm not a talkative person but because I don't know what to do, so we're chatting. I sold my blue pen to him, as he said that he really comfortable with my pen. He said that rarely he can find a pen that really suit to him. Haha, so I sold that pen to him with price of RM1.50 and get 10cent as the profit. Hehehe..Huhuhu...

U know what?? My lecturer maybe realised that I keep talked, talked and talked... So she said.. "Hah, that lady with pink scarf... Apa yg kmu sibuk ckp2 kn kt blkg tu dgn abe..". What?? Abe?? Huh, no! He's my friend ok... U get that! "Marilah sini turun.."she's calling me. And, I just follow what she wants. In front of her, I just keep smiling to her. She asked me, What did I do just now?? Honestly, I told her that I'm just chatting. She said, hah tu lah chatting lg. Now, ckp la apa kmu nk ckp? I was so confused, don't know what to say.. Then I asked her what to say.. Again, she make me shame in front of 100+ people. She said that  supposedly I know what to say..huhu. Then with thousand of confident I talked in front of 100+ people. Hahaha.. I said.. "My name is ..... I'm from ----. Just now I was chatting with my friend. He's not my abe.". Hehehe.. Then, I talked about what I've learnt from her subject. That's all.. Huhu.. My friends said that "Ok la ko ckp td..". Hah, yeah. Thanks to u who said that I'm going to be called by her. "Masin mulut.."huhu. I've became so famous but I was so shy and shame in front of 100+ people.

Hikmahnya... I can talk in front of 100+ people with less nervous and feel happy.. Hehehe..   

Continue~~~

Now let us enjoy Part 2 of my short story.. (is it short??hehhe)

***

Hubungan kami smakin rapat, kami saling kenal mengenali dan faham memahami. Dia seorang yg sangat mengambil berat dan penyayang. Aku senang bersamanya. Dia juga sentiasa mengingatkan ku utk tidak lupa padaNya. Aku tenang bersamanya, dia memahami ku dan agak sabar dengan sikap ku yg sensitif dan manja. yg sangat aku senangi, dia sangat2 care bila aku down...dia sentiasa di sisiku bila aku perlukan... Ya Allah, jagalah hubungan kami semoga mendapat petunjuk dan berada di bwh jagaanMu...

Suatu hari, aku dan roomate2 ku ke cafe. Aku yg sangat lapar terus je beli makanan tanpa peduli keadaan sekeliling. Banyak makanan yg ku beli, yelah da lapar sangat. Tiba2 roomate ku menegur ku, "Ana, ko tgk tu lelaki dari td dia tgk jak gaya mu..". Lantas aku pn menoleh...huaaaaa Alif rupanya. Dia tersenyum melihat ku.. Aku tersipu2 malu..tp tdk ku tahan lagi lapar ku pa lagi terus makan la. Kami duduk di meja yg bersebelahan dengan dia. Aku malu2 bila berhadapan dgn dia, aku menyembunyikan diri di dpn roomate ku. Mujurlah dorg tdk perasan dgn gelagat ku.. Aku perasan, kadang2 dia curi2 memandang ku. Aku pun begitu. Aku sms dia, "Salam cik abg, watpa dtg cafe U ni.. kn da abis stdy?". Slps beberapa minit, dia reply. "Salam ya..saja je dtg nk tgk cik adik x ble ke?hehe. Xdela ada reunion ngan member kt cni..". Aku tersenyum2 membaca sms nya.. Roomate ku perasan, "amboi ana, senyum2 baca sms.. sapa tu?". "Hehe, xda la..," aku menjawab. Tdk lama selepas tu, dia datang ke meja kami.

"Assalamualaikum, ble sy duduk?" dia menyapa. "waalaikumsalam, ya jemput la duduk.,"roomate ku menjawab. Aku terkejut dan tdk dapat berkata apa2. Dia hanya tersenyum melihat ku kerana dia tau, aku malu dan gelabah. "Erm, napa diam je ni? Apa khabar? Ok x study?,"dia bertanya lg. Aku hanya mampu diam. Roomate ku yg byk menjawab dan berbual dengan dia. Aku hanya memandang mereka dan kadang2 curi pandang ke arahnya. Dia kemudian membuat ku ingin tahu sesuatu, kerana dia mula bercakap tentang sesuatu yg sangat personal. "sebenarnya, tdk lama lg sy bakal berkahwin dengan seseorg... Dia juga sy rasa dah sedia menerima sy.."ceritanya. Aku tergamam, jika orgnya aku tdk mungkin sbb bila masa aku ckp aku sedia. Rasa seperti hati ini dicucuk dan dibelah seribu. Air mata mula bergenang dimataku. Dia diam melihat diriku. Aku memberanikan diriku bertanya padanya, "sapa orgnya? mesti lebih baik dari tunang mu kn?". Air mata ku mula mengalir, dia nampak risau manakala roomateku terkejut melihatku. Dengan tenang dia menjawab, "Kamulah orgnya Ana.. kamu kn tunang sy. Sy cuma akn berkahwin dgn kamu, sy dah janji dgn kamu kalau berkekalan jodoh kita pasti disatukan.. Mksd sy td, org yg dah bersedia menerima sy..kamu la. Kn kamu dah yakin dgn sy, gmbira dgn sy dan juga berjanji dgn sy..Betul tak? Sy dah brsedia, sudikah kamu mengahwini sy?..".

Aku tergamam, semua perasaan bercampur baur, gembira, takut, terkejut... "S...ss...sa..sy...InsyaAllah, ya..",jwb ku lalu tunduk. Aku berdoa semoga jwpn ku tepat. Roomate ku terkejut, lantas dia bertanya "Aik, biar betul ni?"... Kami berdua tersenyum dan mengangguk. Lantas aku berterus terang yg aku sudah pun bertunang dengan dia.. dan segala2nya yg mereka nk tau. "Maaf kn sy kerana buat cm ni dpn roomate2 kmu..sy buat bgini supaya mereka tau ttg sy dan elak fitnah antara kita. Sy juga nk mereka jaga kamu bg pihak sy.. Jgn nangis lagi ya.."pujuknya.. Aku mengangguk dan meminta diri utk balik ke asrama. Dia juga minta diri utk balik, kami berdua lega kerana tdk ada perkara buruk yg berlaku.~~~

Kring..kring... Hp ku berbunyi. "assalamualaikum, masi ingat sy lg?.."tanya pemanggil itu. "Waalaikumsalam, erm...maaf, sapa ya?.."jwb ku. "Sy Syafri ni..owh, tak ingat sy lg ya.."pemanggil itu menambah. "Aik, takkan la baru bbrpa bulan tdk contact kamu dah lupa?". Ya, aku kenal...aku kenal dia... Dia la ex ku yg byk buat aku trsiksa. Dia seorg saja yg nk difahami, kemahuan dia sj yg perlu dituruti.. Yg selalu buat aku sdey dan down... Dia...Dia...Dia... Jantung ku bagai nk tercabut mendengar suaranya. "Ya..ada pa?,"aku membalas. "Napa, takkan tdk boleh contact kot..kmu pa khbr?" tanya nya dengan mesra. Dalam hati ku, masi terasa pedih dan sakit disebabkan dia. Sukar utk aku lupa. "Alhamdulillah sihat..cm besa jgk.."jwb ku bersahaja. "owh, yeke..sbnrnya..sy kerja dkt2 dgn area U kamu jg.. Boleh la kita jumpa kn?..".
"Err..erm...tgk la.."jwb ku. "Takkan still marah dgn sy kot..jgn la cm tu.. Sy minta maaf byk2, sy tau sy salah..".  Memang senang utk minta maaf, tp keikhlasan tu hanya Allah yg tau...krna dia aku lupa utk senyum dan susah percaya lelaki.. "Please, maafkan sy k..."dia memujuk. "Sy ada kelas ni, sy nk cepat. Len kali kita brbual lg ya. Salam..." dgn pantas aku putuskan talian. Aku tdk mau lg ingat pd dia, tdk mau!!!~~~

"Ana..ana...ada org tunggu ko kt luar tu.."panggil kwn ku. "Eh, sapa plak ni?"tanya ku kehairanan. "Tah la, ko p la tgk.."jwb nya smbil berlalu dgn cepat..byk kerja. Aku terkejut melihat dia...bkn Alif..tp Syafri. Huh... Apa dia nk lg ni? Aku datang menemuinya..dia menyambut ku dengan senyuman. "Assalamualaikum, pa khbr?"tanya nya. "Waalaikumsalam, sihat."jwb ku smbil memandang ke arah lain. "Jom kita keluar.. sy nk ajak kmu mkn.. Dah lama kita tdk mkn sma.."ajaknya dgn baik. "Tak pa la, sy boleh mkn sndiri dgn kwn2 sy..kmu pi la mkn dulu.. terima kasih."jwb ku tenang. "Ana, please...tolong la jgn lyn sy cm ni... sy dari luar dtg semata2 k jmpa kmu... please...sbg tnda kmu da maafkn sy.."rayunya. "Sy da maafkan kmu, tdk perlu la nk blanja sy mkn k.."jwb ku lg. Tiba2 dia melutut dan merayu agar ku memaafkan dirinya.. dia nak aku terima pelawaan mkn brsamanya.. Aku masi tdk dpt lupakan dia, aku takut...takut curang dan tertipu lg.

Akhirnya, dia menangis. Aku tak sangka lelaki seego dia akan menangis. "Ana, sy ikhlas..please...sy tau sy dah byk melukakn perasaan kmu dn wat kmu sdey tp please bg sy pluang skali ni"rayunya lg. Sayu... Aku menjawab, "Baiklah, juz mkn. Tak ada niat len k. Tp sy akn bw teman sy skali. Aku tdk mau cuma kita berdua sja.". "Ya..ya..baiklah2...sy setuju.. Terima kasih Ana.."dia berdiri kembali dan tersenyum. Aku tertanya2 mgpa dia beriya2 nk pohon kemaafan daripada ku, sdgkn dulu..dia langsung tdk pduli diriku. Tah la.. Alhamdulillah klu dia benar2 dah berubah. Aku perlu berhati2..itu yg pnting.~~~

"Sy nak..kmu kembali ke sisi sy.."Syafri memohon. "Tidak! Dia tdk boleh..dia tunang sy!!"Aliff dtg lalu berdiri di sebelahku. "Ana, kta da jadi sgt rapat sblm ni...family sy pn dah knal kmu. Sy tau, kmu masi sygkn sy kn? betul kn ana?"Syafri memujuk. "Sy tdk kesa, Ana dah brtunang atau pn belum. Ana masi sah dimiliki lelaki len trmasuk sy. Tunang boleh diputuskan klu Ana nk.."Syafri meyakinkn ku. "Ana..sy tdk mau buat kamu tertekan dgn smua ni. Sy faham. Kmu berhak buat kputusan. Sy tdk mau memaksa, wlu pa pn kita masi lg terikat dgn tali pertunangan ni. Kamu plh baik2 ya.. sy sentiasa ada di sisi kamu bila kamu perlukan. Sy...sy sygkn kmu.."luah Aliff. "Ana...ana...ana bangun ana, jom g kelas dah lmbt ni!!,"roomate ku mengejutkan ku dari mimpi ngeri. Astaghfirullah al- azim rupa2nya aku bermimpi...Huh.. Nauzubillah.. Semoga segala2nya baik saja. Jauhkan la aku dr prkara2 yg tdk baik ni.~~~

Make me forget everything about him...

Ya Allah..I'm begging u.. I pray to u.. Please, make me forget everything about him... I don't want him to disturb my mind and my life anymore. Please, make me strong and brave to forget everything about him... Please...please give me friends that can help me face all this challenges...

I've forgot how to smile... so please help me to forget everything about him so that I will learn again how to smile and smile everyday....

Cerpen ku

***

Cerpen indah karangan ku.. No ciplak, sebagai tatapan pembaca sahaja.

Aku, seorang gadis biasa. Inginkan kebahagiaan dalam hidup. Aku seorang yang tdk byk cakap, suka buat lawak dan menyenangkan hati kawan, dan sangat sensitif. Aku yang dulu, sangat berbeza dengan yg sekarang. Dulu, aku seorang yg baik..tetapi skrg, sejak aku br’kawan’ dgn c dia aku mula berubah. Aku menjadi seorang yg kuat marah dan panas baran. Dulu, aku bukanlah seorang yg bersikap sebegitu. Aku sudah banyak berubah disebabkan c dia... Dia, tdk pernah menghargai diriku. Hanya aku seorang sahaja yg selalu bersabar dgn hbgn kami dan byk berkorban. Dia byk membuat aku trsiksa hati dan perasaan sehingga kesihatan ku terabai. Sekarang, kami tdk lg mempunyai hbgn apa2 dan dia sudah lgsung tdk menghubungi ku lg. Memang sakit.. tetapi apa nak di kata bila org dah berubah dan beralih arah. Hanya nak mengekalkan egonya...

Pada suatu hari, seperti biasa aku down. Aku menangis kerana sangat lemah, down dan stress. Aku menenangkan diri di atas katil ku sambil memeluk bantal kesayangan ku... Aku perlu menenangkan diri sebelum pergi ke kelas sebelah petang, kelas yg perlu aku hadiri brsm senior2 tahun 3 ku. Ketika sedang menunggu bas, aku mendapati seseorang sedang memerhatikan diriku. Aku berasa sangat tidak selesa lantas aku menyorok di sebalik papan notis di pondok bas itu. Apabila bas datang, aku segera naik dan duduk di bahagian hadapan.

Sebelum masuk ke kelas, aku menguatkan diriku untuk senyum agar kwn2 ku tidak mengetahui kesedihan yg ku alami. Inilah kebiasaan yg ku lakukan setiap hari. Aku duduk bersama 2 org kawanku, aku berbual2 dgn mereka ttg hal assignment dan gosip.. Huh, saja nak membuat aku lupa pada masalah ku. Sedang asyik aku bercerita, aku trpandang ke arah seseorang yg juga sedang memerhatikan ku. Aku terkejut, kerana lelaki itulah yg sibuk memandangku di pondok bas td. Aku segera mengalihkan pandanganku,.. Dapat ku rasakan muka ku yg merah padam saat itu...~~~

Siapakah lelaki itu? Aku mengenalinya pertama kali di masjid. Dialah yg menyampaikan tazkirah subuh selepas Qiam dan solat subuh...Aku tdk tahu sama ada dia mengenali ku atau tdk.

Pada malam itu, aku sentiasa teringat padanya.. Aku cuba mengalih perbincangan ku dgn roomate ku ttg dia.

"Erm..sapa ya yg bg tazkirah subuh dgn kita time Qiam tu?"aku memulakan bicara. "Owh, nama dia Alif..napa dgn dia?"roomate ku brtanya.."Tak da pa2 la, cuma sy baru perasan yg kmi 1 kelas,"dgn slumber aku menjawab. Rupa-rupanya dia juga berasal dari daerah yg sama dgnku. Hatiku berbunga tanpa diduga..~~~

Sebaik shja balik dari kelas, kepala ku sakit sangat dan aku down lagi time tu.. Sambil berjalan ditengah panas nak balik ke bilik, aku menangis... Tiba-tiba tnpa disangka2 dia lalu di depan ku sambil menunggang motorsikal berwarna hijau, dia juga memandang ke arah ku… aku ingin senyum tp tdk berdaya.. Aku sangat lemah, terasa seperti nak pengsan namun ku gagahkan juga diriku untuk teruskan perjalanan... Di hati ini berdoa kepada Allah SWT agar dipermudahkan oleh Nya segala urusan dan jika lelaki itulah jodoh ku maka dekatkanlah hati kami...Amiin..~~~

Pada suatu hari yg sangat indah, aku ke masjid bersama roomate2 ku.. Kmi ke sana ingin menenangkan diri dan berharap semoga lebih dekat dgnNya... Sedang kami berjalan, tiba-tiba namaku di panggil oleh seseorg.. Aku menoleh, aku terkesima, berdebar2..muka ku merah padam..Aku tdk dapat berkata2, aku hnya mampu memandangnya shja.. Dia, Alif yg memanggil ku... "Assalamualaikum Ana, boleh sy brckp skjp dgn kamu?"Alif menyapa. "Err..Walaikumsalam, ya..boleh..,"aku menjawab. "Sbnarnya sy nk dapatkan maklumat keluarga kamu...Boleh tak?" Aku hanya tunduk membisu, aku tdk tahu apa yg nak aku katakan.. Akhirnya, aku menjwb.."Err..Knapa? ada apa ya?." "Erm..se..sebab..sebab.. Sy perlukan maklumat tu sbb kmu slh sorg AJK sy kn?"… Aku tdk dpt brfikir apa2.. Aku mengangguk dan terus memberikan maklumat yg dia nak. Setelah itu, aku minta diri.

"Pa yg dia tnya tu?"roomate ku bertanya. "Owh, dia nak maklumat family ku sbb aku AJK dia.."aku membalas. "Aik, AJK apa plak yg ko ikut under dia?"roommate ku bertanya lg. Aku trdiam, aku juga tdk tahu yg aku ada program under dia. Setahu aku, aku tdk pernah berhubung dgn dia atau menjalankan program dgn dia... Aku diam..~~~

Cuti pn bermula, aku bersyukur dpt juga melaluinya dgn baik. Sampai di rumah, aku mengucup tgn mak dan bapa ku. Mereka gembira menyambut kepulangan ku... Aku juga gembira kerana dapat berehat dan menenangkan diri di sini. "Ana, Jumaat ni kita ada kenduri.. "mak memulakn crita. "Aik, kenduri apa pula ni mak?"aku kehairanan. Mak terus mengalihkan perhatian ku dgn cerita hal lain. Aku malas nk ambil tahu dan lupakkan saja... Keesokan harinya, kami sekeluarga keluar ke bandar. Kami ke kedai kain dan aku disuruh memilih kain berwarna putih krim sutera yg sgt cntik. Aku berasa sgt hairan, tp bila dah mereka nk sgt aku pilih jd aku ambil shja mana2 yg aku nak.. Selepas tu, kami ke kedai jahit. Badan ku diukur, mak kata nak jahit baju kebaya labuh utk ku. Aku sgt2 pelik dgn kelakuan mak dan bapa. Mkck tukang jahit tu pn brgurau, "aik, nk khwn ke?" Mak pn mnjwb, "ish, bkn lah..saja nk jahit.." Aku tercengang bila mkck tu ckp aku nk khwin.. Aku mula gelisah dn tnya mak ku, "mak, utk pa jgk smua ni?" dgn tenang mak pn ckp, "Tdk ada apa2 la.." Senyuman mak mmbuat aku tenang dan tdk resah lagi.~~~

Suatu hari, aku dipanggil oleh mak dan bapa. Kami berbual face-to-face. Mereka nk brterus terang ttg ssuatu. Semakin membara2 perasaan ingin tahu ku... "Ada sseorg dtg merisik mu.."bapa pn memulakan kata. Aku terkejut dan ingin tahu lebih lanjut. "Siapa?"jwb ku ingin tahu. "Dia, study di U yg sama dgn kmu. Dia baru saja hbs stdy thn ni.. InsyaAllah katanya, klu lulus dia grad dah thn ni.."dengan tenang bapa menjawab. "Dia juga menyatakan hasratnya ingin meminang mu..dan setelah berfikir, kami terima.."bapa menambah. Aku tdk tahu apa yg harus aku lakukan, aku hanya diam membisu. "Ana, tdk salah bagi mu utk memilih dia sbg tunang mu. Dlm Islam, sgt digalakkan utk kamu bertunang drpd berkapel tdk tentu pasal. Smasa brtunang, kmu ble saling knal brknalan dan faham memahami. Ttapi, jika kmu brdua rasa tdk selesa antara satu sama lain, kamu ble mmutuskan pertunangan tu dgn cara yg baik. Bertunang tdk smestinya terus brkahwin, wlupn sebaiknya harus brkhwin. Islam tdk memaksa, ini adalah utk kebaikan kmu jg..". "Erm.. siapa nama lelaki tu? Asal mana? Ada gambar?"...Mak segera ke bilik mengambil sekeping gmbr miliknya.. "Ni lah dia orgnya...Alif namanya..." mak menghulurkan sekeping gambar. Aku sangat2 terkejut, dia.. Alif....

Hari Jumaat pn tiba, slps solat Zohor (lelaki prgi solat Jumaat), aku diminta utk brsiap dn mengenakan baju putih sutera yg telah siap itu.. Aku hnya mnurut kata mak tnpa byk soal dan kmudian aku disolek oleh kakak sepupu ku. Yg simple2 shja.. Aku dan kakak spupu ku berbual2 tentang hari pertunangannya.. Aku sgt brdebar2 saat itu... Aku bakal bertunang dgn seseorg yg aku belum kenali dirinnya sepenuhnya... Aku berdoa semoga, dia adalah pilihan yg terbaik... Tp, seandainya tiada jodoh.. ku harap Allah tetap kuatkan semangat ku...

Rombongan lelaki pn tiba.. Aku tersenyum sendiri memikirkan dia yg bakal menjadi tunangku... "Ya Allah, jika benar dia untuk ku dekatkanlah hatinya dengan hatiku...Jika dia bukan untuk ku, damaikanlah hati ku dengan ketentuan mu...". Setelah majlis itu selesai, aku dipanggil keluar dari bilik. Hati ku berdebar, semua mata tertumpu kepada ku... Semua tersenyum kepada ku... Aku duduk di sebelah mak ku, ibu Alif datang berhadapan dengan ku.. Dengan lafaz bismillahhirrahmanirrahim, dia menyarung cincin di jari manis ku. Aku berasa sebak dan terharu.. Lantas ku cium tgn bakal ibu mertua ku itu ... Semua org yg hadir mgucap alhamdulillah dan majlis diteruskan dengan jamuan...

Tdk lama selepas itu, Alif datang... Dia tersenyum melihat ku. Aku tersipu2 malu melihat dia yg kini bergelar tunang ku.. Dia datang lalu menyapa ku.. “Assalamualaikum kekasihku..”. Semua org hanya memerhati gelagatnya yg nakal dan suka mengacau ku. “Waalaikumsalam, tunangku.. amboi suka la tu” balas ku sambil tersenyum. Dia menarik nafas lega dan bersyukur kerana majlis berjalan dengan lancar. Dia tidak lama berbual dengan ku, aku sangat faham kerana kami belum lagi sah menjadi suami isteri jd batas2 antara lelaki dan perempuan masih perlu dijaga. Dia pergi menemui keluarga ku dan berbual2 dengan mereka. Keluarga ku sangat senang dengan kehadiran dirinya apatah lg, dia boleh menjadi pemimpin yg dapat memimpin ku dan adik2 kerana aku adalah anak sulung. Dia sangat memahami dan dapat menjadi imam solat kami. Alhamdulillah ya Allah..hamba bersyukur padaMu…~~~

***

Inginkan cerita selanjutnya??huhu..tunggu…

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Get inspiration...

I've found something tonight. Actually this inspiration came pass through my mind last night. I feel that, it's good if u have been rejected, dump or broke up... Although it's hard to forget and so much other probs (most likely against ur own feeling) but it's actually good and easy to go through. Why I mention like that? Because rather than u've still to be with someone that doesn't appreciate urself in his/her life, keep making u disappointed and sad, and many other negative things that only make u down, sad, depress and so many emotional pain right?

If u have been rejected, dump or broke up... u only have to fight against ur own feelings. Instead of still being with him/her, u don't have to think of him anymore which can make u become 100x more sad, u don't have to take care of his/her feelings anymore, what he/she does, and anything that relate to him/her. Else, u can motivate urself to think forward and think that u may get someone better and the best (who can treat u well) rather than him/her right?? Can u imagine if u still be with him/her, who doesn't want to take care about u.. Doesn't want to feel ur pain and sadness to be shared with him/her.. Only get busy with his/her works, forget about u...U're living in suffers and tears as ur partner.. Compare both situation, and u'll find out how lucky u're to be rejected, dump or broke up...

But I'm not yet lucky to be the one...

It's all about time...

I don't know what to share today... Hehehe..

Just now I went to my friend's room in other block. To send forms that they want from me... And on my way to her room, I met with someone. He greet me and told me that I'm too serious while walking. He told me to relax. I smiled and stopped in front of him. I said, I can’t walk slowly and relax…hehehehe… Then, I continued walking… Huhuhu, you know what? Now I know, I’m too serious while walking and not relax. I always walk faster to catch on the time… Time is walking even faster than me and never waits even for a minute. That’s why I have to be on time. Are u agree with me?

Ghost Story...

Now, I'm going to tell u a story... Scary story... But I'm going to tell u in Bahasa k, hehehehe...

Pada 1 hari, makcik sy dan kawan2 nya nak balik ke rumah. Mereka dalam perjalanan dari Airport Tawau nak ke rumah mereka di daerah lain. Kawan makcik saya punya suami yang memandu malam tu. Kereta yang mereka gunakan; Kancil dan ke semua mereka ada empat org.. (Hahahaha, skemanya sy brcerita)... 

K la, x payah nk skema2 k. Dorang smua dlm kereta tu ada 4 org. Yg drive tu suami kwn mkck sy, sblhnya istrinya, kt blkg pulak mkck sy dn sorg kwnnya...

Sampai d suatu kawasan ni.. kwn mkck sy ni (yg duk dpn) trnampak anjing hitam d tepi jalan. Anjing tu nak capai ekornya kt blkg... Org tua2 ckp, ni petanda kurang baik. Tdk lama kemudian, lepas je lalu kwsn jmbatan dia ternampak lembaga putih lalu depan kereta dorg. Tiba2 je, dorg rasa cm langgar ssuatu dan kreta dorg tu brhenti scra tiba2. Dorg pn trkejut la... Pasangan suami istri ni pn turun la p tgk mana tau dorg ada langgar ssuatu... Yg mkck sy dan kwn sorg ni duk je dlm keta, seram sejuk da..rasa x sdap hati...Pas tu, yg istri tu masuk la kt dalam keta... Dia pndang ke arah bhgn blkg keta tmpt mkck sy dduk. Dia pandang je, tenung je ke arah mkck sy tnpa ckp pa2.. Mkck sy rasa takut la, dia pn tnya la kwn dia tu "Napa kak pndang sy cm tu?"... tdk lama pas tu, istri tu ajak mkck dn kwnnya turun dr keta. Dia ckp, "sinilah kita d luar, bagus lg...sinila kita d luar..."(lbey kurang cm tu la)... 

Mula2 mkck sy x mau...dia xnk kluar..lama2 mkck sy akur dn kwnnya pn ikut kluar gak dr keta... Pas tu, istri tu crta la pa yg dia nmpk sbnrnya... Sbnrnya, ada sumthing duk kt tgh2 mkck sy dan kwnnya...huhhuhu.. Pa yg sumthing tu?? benda tu la...putih..dn rambutnya panjang...Benda tu duk kt tgh2 dn tenung ke arah sate kwn mkck sy...dorg takut sgt..yelah, dah la mlm plak tu...kwsn tu sunyi jgk..Jd, mkck sy kol husband nya dn btau prkr tu... Pkck sy pn suru la dorg buang sate tu... Yelah, kn benda tu suka daging...

Dorg pn saling suruh menyuruh nk p buang sate dlm keta tu... Akhirnya, mkck sy mgalah... Dia msuk dlm keta tu dn buang seketul je daging sate tu (mkck sy segan, yelah sate tu bkn dia yg pnya klu nk buang byk2)...Mkck sy buang la kt blkg keta... Istri tu dpt tgk bnda2 halus ni, jd dia ckp benda tu tgk je mkck sy time mkck sy ambil sate tu. Dan....dia ikut dan tgk ja mkck sy buang sate tu...

Tak lama pas tu, datang la adik kpada suami tu...Dia bw D-max dn tarik keta Kancil tu. Sate yg tinggal tu d letak d blkg keta D-max. Time nk tarik kancil tu, rasa berat sangat2... Tak dapat nak tarik pn, cm kna tekan brek je. Jd, driver D-max tu pn ckp la jgn tekan brek. Driver Kancil ni plak ckp, dia xda tekan brek lgsg pn... Rupa2nya bnda tu mc duk kt blkg keta Kancil tu.. Dorg sdaya upaya la mnarik keta tu, dapat gak gerak... Apbila lepas je jambatan trakhir, akhirnya bnda tu xda dah...

Moral of the story...

----Jgn bw daging esp. yg mentah tgh mlm d tmpt yg sunyi dn prjlnan yg jauh...

Things happen to me...

Today, I don’t feel very well… I was so tired and just lay down on my bed. I’m trying to motivate myself not to think of what happen actually. I’m struggling to make myself strong to face all these challenges. Yes, I can’t lie that I haven't forgotten him… my heart still saying that I love him and need him. Sometime I asked myself, is it true love? Or I just want him to accompany me and never make me lonely? I’m very confused. But now, I don’t have to think about it anymore.

All I have to do now is, motivate myself and be strong. It’s only 3 weeks left for me to struggle for my final exam. I need to remember my uncle’s advised to study properly and get a good result. He told me that he already help me to get scholarship, so why not I pay and give him a good result as the return. My entire big families also believe me and want the best from me. Because they know, I can do it!

I need to be ego with myself, I need to be matured and I need to be myself. No need to cooperate with someone that you don’t like or fill most of their time with enjoy only. My father said that, he also same liked me when he was a student. All his friends let him done by himself all the tasks and assignments given, but my father just let them ‘copy and paste’ of his works. When they sat for the exam, my father knew what to do and can answer all questions properly with A as the result, but his friends can’t answer the questions properly and can’t get like what my father’s get.

Remember my father’s advised at the airport, “Belajar bagus2, sembahyang”… then, when I’m already reached Terminal 2 KK, he SMSed me, “Smart study and pray”… Yes I will my beloved father… For my beloved mother, she also advised me to study properly... she who always took care of me and prepared anything I want, I love u….

Aarghhh...

What happen to me?? Why I have to face person like him??? I hate him so much!!!!!! He treats me like I'm nothing to him. My dear friend, I think I’m in stage one. Just now, once again I’ve told him to break this relation. I told him don’t find me anymore…. I was so angry to him; he never wants to understand me. I know how busy he was at this time but so do I. Even I’m too busy, but I still find free time to contact and be with him. How easy it was to answer the phone, I don’t think it’s hard to pick up a call… he never wants to answer my calls, sometimes I even call him about 30 to 40 calls a day, but he didn’t want to answer. So, what’s the point to be together if he acts like that!!! Now…today… I feel extremely loneliness and helpless… He makes me down!!! For him, I’m not so important… if I’m nothing to him so why he didn’t just let me go?? Why he makes me suffer like this??!!! Why?? I’m so tired to cry like this… every day I show my big smiles in front of people but deep inside my heart I’m actually crying… No one can understand my feelings and know what I face and feel… It’s really pain……..

Morning in my hometown..

I feel fresh through out my day here.. Everything is fresh and I don't have to feel rushed just like in my hostel. I feel comfortable and easy.... Looking at the plants, flowers and all nice view outside my house make me feel calm and fresh.

Fish pond outside my house

Flowers outside my house

Third day in my hometown...

It was my third day being here… Today, we’ve received many guests which were my uncle and auntie with their children. There were surprised to know that I went home. It’s not yet holiday but I’m at home already, hehehe. There’s nothing much I can do today beside rest. Since yesterday, I’m only kept eating, eating and eating… Hopefully I can gain weight so that I can reach normal BMI…huhuuhu.

Last night, we’re going to Giant. After performed Maghrib prayer, we’re going to Giant to buy things to be eaten..huhuhu.. Eat again… We’re there for one hour maybe and look into things that we needed. My younger brother pulls me to follow him. As usual, he will pull me to take buns that he wants and pay for him. Huh… so lucky my little bro to have me as his sister..hehehhe… I’m helping him to get his buns then paid for him. I saw Mexican bun, it made me hungry. With no hesitate, I get it and paid. Huhuhu.. I like that bun because it was so delicious. The first time I like that bun was when my family and I were in holiday at KL. After I paid for my bun, I saw my father took some burgers. I felt like wanted to eat burger too. So, I get one for me too. Hehehhehe…

After paid everything, we’re heading to outside of Giant. My mom with my little bro bought some fried fish balls. Again, I requested my mom to buy some for me too… huhuhu.. Then, we went to the outside of the Giant building. I saw cheap ice cream was sold there…hehehe. Well guest what?? Huhuhu..I went to that stall and bought an ice cream cup. Hahaha.. I’m really enjoyed my day with eat..eat.. and eat.. At home, eat again.. Fried rice with steam chicken… My mom cooked the fried rice while I cooked the steam chicken with my own recipe, hehehehe... I’m full!!!

Delicious ice cream cup and steam chicken that I cooked :)

Huhuhu..

Second day in my hometown..huhuhu.. Today, I can rest peacefully… when I opened my eyes; I saw my family’s face not the stress environment at my hostel…hehehe. Early in the morning, I feel fresh and start my day with smiles… My father was so busy repairing on his car. He has four cars and one of them is Kancil, needs to be repaired, renewed and repainted, hehehehe… This pictures show u how bad the condition of that car...

Inside of car (all items inside the car has been taken off)

From left side and tyre

Right side of car

Don't u think it's an amazing car?? hehehe..

Home Sweet Home...

I was so happy...hehe. Now I'm at home with my family. Watching TV while chatting with my mom... Gossips, hehe well u know women and girls...

Here I want to share some stories with u... It was 11.25am already, my flight was scheduled on 12.20pm. Air Asia always wanted their customers to check-in 1 hour before departure time. I tought that I'm late going to the airport, because I have to check-in 1 hour earlier. I was so afraid that I'm going to miss that flight again like few years ago. Thank God I still can check-in and proceed my plan to go home. Alhamdulillah..Huhu... When I was in the flight, I'm taking this picture to share with u all..

Pic taken inside the flight..

Feeling so well can reached home safely... My father and I didn't tell my mom, my brother and sister that I'm going back. When I reached home, I can heard my mom's voices inside the house, called my name with  happy nice sound... Touching and sooooo happy at that time... I can see how happy she was when she looked at me...and so do I, I was so happy too. After taken my lunch, my father took my sister and I to the town. I spent my time in the car looking around of this town, there's not so much changes in this few months since I'm not here. We're going to a shop and bought few things. I was just took any items that I want to take...hehe.. as usually, not me who pay all the items but my father..hehe. So no need to worry if my money is not enough. Now, I feel sleepy... Going to sleep first......ZZZzzzzz... Nite!

Update..huhu

Tonight, he’s still with his ego… Don’t want to contact me... I know that he never feel sorry and guilty with what he did to me… He doesn’t miss me and for him, works are more important than me. Huh!

Ahh! Forget about it! In the afternoon, I’m going to the laboratory to do some works. I’m fully enjoyed doing my practical alone… I have to do dilution, pour plate, titration and the acidity test. It takes time about one and half an hour to do all that methods properly. I feel very excited and confident as I can do it by myself. Hehe, before this I’m afraid to light up the Bunsen burner using lighter. But now, I can do it! Hehehe… Such an improvement to myself!

Then I’m having my lunch at 6pm (don't be suprised k), it was so fantastic to have chocolate + peanut waffle. Wow! It was so delicious!! Nyum…nyum… Huhu… Don’t be jealous k. Here I put some of photos that I’ve taken while I’m eating.

Chocolate waffle..nyum..nyum..

After that, I'm going to my class coz I'm having a replacement class. I walked alone but myself and feel sooo full. hehe.. Feeling great walking with these shoes…

Adidas..

Hehehe

I'm so busy two to three weeks ago..huh. Don't have so much to clean my table,hehe... What a mess..fuh!

 Tomorrow I'm going back to my hometown.. Yes!! It's not yet holiday but I want to spend my time there to find some calmness and also eat well.. ;) I've discussed with my father actually first before I got his permission to go home. He thought that I have problems, that's why I want to go back. Actually, it's true. There's a lot of problems here that I've to face it alone. I'm going home so that I could make myself calm and far from the busiest day... Just for a few days... I'm taking along my stuffs that couldn't or not being used anymore. So that I'm using these boxes to put all my things..hehe.

Last night, my friend and I were going to have our time together. Since this week was our busiest week, so we end up this week with enjoying together our free time..hehe. We're going to Old Town and have our lunch there. At that time, it was 6.00pm and at that time I'm just taking my lunch and dine which come out with dunch? lunine? hehehehe. I was so hungry and finished up my Nasi Ayam Rendang with Mirinda Strawberry. After that, we bought some things from the nearest store. Before we're having our time for movie, we have to find boxes first. At that time, we're asking at that store either thay can give us boxes from their store that they don't used...their answer is cannot. Fuh! So we tried to find it from another place. Until 1 shop, that sell books give that boxes for free to me.. Lucky! If not, I have to BUY that boxes from them..huh. My friend said, that 1 of two guys which work at that shop is cute. Hehe.. and she said that we have to show them our cute faces first to get that boxes..hehehe. Funny!

It was great that I've seen Alice in Wonderland..huhu. Johny Depp..that movie was interesting and can make me out of feeling afraid of adventures in Alice story that I've heard since I was a kid. That movie was so funny and interesting...

Johny Depp as Hatter

Red Queen [scary face :( ]

The Starring - Alice

The White Queen

Better u watch it now!!!